My theory on the toilet lid and why you should close them

Spread the word

Courtesy Flush; A flush in the middle of the toilet-sitting process in order to reduce the aroma. 

Many people do not perform a courtesy flush. Most people do not close the toilet lid before the flush. Both of these gross habits shouldn’t be ignored.toilet lid

Fire in the hole

When one does not perform a courtesy flush and/or do not close the lid after their use, that person is igniting the ultimate stink bomb. This brings me to a word you may not soon forget which is toilet plume. Toilet plume is pretty much a dust cloud of fecal matter particles floating in the air that is not H2O. These particles include but are not limited to urine and poop. Pretty much anything in that toilet bowl is now in the air you’re breathing.

Backblast area all clear?

The area this gagger covers can be catastrophic! Anyone within a 6 feet radius can be affected by this disgusting plume. If you think waiting a few minutes for it to dissipate is the answer, you are wrong. Keep in mind, the dust have to settle at some point. These points of settlements may include but are not limited to door handles, nozzles, and even your toothbrush.

“Eat shit and die”

 Did you die?

More than likely, you will survive the aftermath of a toilet plume. Unless you are drinking the toilet water or using the toilet lid as a plate you won’t even get sick so don’t worry too much. 

Back story

If you’ve made it this far you are probably disgusted by now. Blame my Army friend for bringing this to my attention. One time a fellow Soldier destroyed a room by eating a ton of pogey bait. From that point on he complained the whole day about how foul it was and how his mouth was open at contact. His disgusted expression and constant babbling stuck with me for years. Today I had a brain fart (no pun intended) about what to  blog about and here we are.


The solution

toilet lid

You are never going to go to the lavatory with the same mindset again. To put your mind at ease, perform these task or ask the person destroying your toilet to follow suit with these simple rules;

  1. Wash your nasty-ass hands (pun intended) after using the restroom.
  2. Clean your nasty-ass bathroom thoroughly at least once a week to cut down the build up.
  3. Perform a courtesy flush 2 minutes into the movement
  4. Put the toilet lid down before flushing.

With the power of knowledge you now wield, spread the word, not the ass gas

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